 by Max Weinberg, PhD A common activity that educators ask students to partake in is bringing baby pictures of themselves when they are commemorating a transition in life (usually a graduation). Parents/caregivers often have to bear the brunt of the task by digging through old albums to find just the right one. What some fail to realize is the strain it can put on parents/caregivers of adopted/looked after (ALA) children wringing their hands trying to figure out how to handle this. In addition to potentially bringing up stories that can be complicated or unnerving for ALA children, not every person has baby pictures available to them. Children who have been relinquished, and have spent time in multiple homes, may not have access to baby pictures. Children who are transracially adopted and living in communities where they are considered a super-minority in their schools are many times put in vulnerable and uncomfortable positions. They often get exposed and are forced to consider personal, private questions about their birth story, or their journey as an ALA person, which dates back to a time that they may have the ability to remember. Unfortunately, the burden of these non-inclusive activities falls on the ALA child and their family. In looking for ways to change the system rather than add work and burden to individual families, I offer a template letter below for others to share with their school. This can potentially elicit a critical discussion, in which the following tips could be helpful:
It is the design that must change. Here’s a sample letter parents can use… Hi there, I was surprised to see (school) asking for baby pictures of children for high school. I have learned from working with other (adoptive families or concerned educators — PERSONALIZE THIS FOR YOURSELF) that gathering baby photos is not considered an inclusive practice due to the fact that not every child is fortunate enough to possess these (due to housing or family change, immigration, fire/damage, etc). This can lead to some very uncomfortable situations when children have to present or identify one another’s baby photos informally in hallways, outside of school, or during school activities. A common instance that I’ve witnessed firsthand is a child of color feeling on the spot when white children share their pictures in sort of a guessing game of which baby became which grown kid but the joke is on the child of color who may look and be easily identifiable. Also, a baby photo where a child is pictured with their birth parent, even though they have been raised in a transracial family, can be another opportunity for (invasive questions and scrutiny. For other ideas, I have learned that alternate activities which are inclusive include:
Signed, XXXX About the Author: To learn more about Max Weinberg, PhD, Belonging Education, and advocating for adopted and looked after children in the education system visit https://www.belonging.education/ Editor’s Note: AKA’s September theme is “Back to School: Resources for Education and Learning.” We will be discussing this topic across our support groups and in this month’s blog. I wanted to start the month off with this essay from Max Weinberg, who is the father to two transracially adopted teens (one of whom just began college–congrats!). Max is an educator with more than 25 years of experience spanning various roles, including teacher, principal, and leadership coach. He advocates for adopted and looked after children within the school system. Max created Belonging (www.belonging.education) as an educational advising practice dedicated to strengthening school belonging for all members of a school community, starting with the children. AKA invites you to hear from members of the extended family of adoption and the surrounding community. While we take great care in curating the content, please know:
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