My Concept of Family

by Janice Jones
My concept of family has always been different than most. I was adopted as an infant, and I knew I was adopted from a very early age. I was aware that while I legally belonged to my (adoptive) parents, I wasn’t related to them—biologically.

My parents had several close friends whom I loved dearly. I grew up addressing them as “Aunt” and “Uncle.” My mother taught me to do this but stressed that they weren’t my real aunts and uncles. The real ones were her and my father’s siblings. This distinction did not matter to me because I knew that I wasn’t related to the real ones, either. Also, I saw a lot more of the honorary ones, than I did the real ones, so the honorary ones were more real to me.

I thought of my father’s father as my grandpa. He spent time with me, and we had fun together. My father’s mother died years before I was born. Yet my father referred to her as my grandma. This made me angry, as I felt that she was no more my grandma than any stranger on the street. I believe I felt anger because his insistence that she was my grandmother seemed a denial on his part that I had a history before I was adopted.

While my parents drew a sharp distinction between “us” and “them,” I thought of “them” as my big human family.

I always longed to be a part of that bigger world because somewhere, out there, were my real relatives.


About the Author: Janice Jones is a US domestic adoptee born in Ohio in 1949. She said it took her until the age of 77 to be able to write about her adoption experience, about how adoption colored every aspect of her life. “Writing my story is the bravest and most healing thing I have ever done,” she said. She encourages other adoptees to share their stories in whatever ways they can.

Janice’s memoir is: “Dr. Beare's Daughter: Growing Up Adopted, Adored, and Afraid.” Here is the link to the Amazon listing:https://a.co/d/cwFL7Aq

Jan is reading and speaking Monday, January 27th at a virtual event for our friends Adoption Network Cleveland. Attendance is free and open to all, but pre-registration is required. If you’d like to attend, click here Adoption Network Cleveland Calendar of Events and Programs

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