Acknowledging the Primal Wound: How Relinquishment Can Lead to an Intimacy Disorder

by K E Garland
Ever since I was a child, I’d sensed something was wrong with me.

I used to fantasize about and crave sex, well before I understood what it was. At the end of my eighth-grade year, I succumbed to desire and lost my virginity. Afterward, I developed an art of quickly connecting with boys—and eventually men—through mutual attraction. Once I received a man’s sexual attention, I determined if I actually liked him. Sometimes I did. Many times, I did not. I thought this behavior would subside when, in my early 20s, I met and married my college sweetheart and then had two daughters. Unfortunately, the pattern persisted, so I became adept at hiding what I perceived to simply be a socially unacceptable personality flaw.

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